Wife Aggro and You…
- May 31st, 2011
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Waggro, or most commonly referred to as “wife aggro” is one of the biggest causes of player deaths, missed LFG ques, and AFK ready checks in the World of Warcraft. It seems like you could sometimes sit next to your wife or girlfriend for hours on end and very little is said or done. However, within the first 15 minutes that you log into game, suddenly you have become the center of attention and a laundry list of 50 things comes flying out of nowhere and smacks you in the face. And no, it never happens in the first 5 minutes you log on. PSHT! WAY too easy to leave the game where it sits to go and take care of the bag of dog food that’s been in the back of the car all week but MUST be brought into the house right NOW! No way. It’s actually an internal timer that women who are married to WoW players have. It’s a sense that they’ve given you enough time to really get into making some progress on something, before they come strip you of that good feeling of accomplishment.
“Dude, Twizz, I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about!”
“What do I do about this?”
“I don’t know what’s worse, buck the system or give in and not play WoW?”
I don’t have all the answers, but I DO have some. I will tell you a little bit about what has happened with my wife and I the past few months regarding WoW and hopefully this will work for you. It may be stuff that you’ve heard of in the past that just won’t work, it may be something you’ve tried and it failed, but this is what’s worked for me….
I’ve been playing WoW since the middle of BC. I’ve never experienced Vanilla WoW or anything like that. However, I’ve played long enough to have had some time invested in the game. I’m an altoholic. Always have been, always will be. So with lots of alts comes LOTS of activities. Leveling, professions, auction housing, dungeon running, pet collecting, achievement….ing?, etc. etc. etc. It sounds like lots of fun and I’m sure that there are a lot of readers that know exactly what I’m talking about. It almost sounds like a job, but a fun one at least. Anyways, all of this started taking up my time quite a bit. At that time though, I had no kids, it was my wife and I, what was there to worry about? Well, everything went downhill fast. It wasn’t until recently that we came to an agreement on how to manage my WoW time. Here’s the rules:
1) I play from 9:00 – midnight on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. Occasionally on the weekends a little bit assuming there’s truly nothing going on. That means I’m playing an average of 8-10 hours MAX per week. I’m sorry, but that is a perfectly acceptable time frame for a hobby.
2) I do the simple stuff. I get home from work an hour before my wife does. If I can clean up the dishes, pick up the crap around the house and make it look nice and neat, and possibly something else that I KNOW she would climb all over me for not doing, I do it (ie: mow the grass, bring the garbage cans in). That way when she gets home, she can sit her ass on the couch or do whatever she wants to do and not be aggravated at a messy house that she feels she has to clean by herself. When she feels that way, you’ll get hit with the 50 things she wants you to do just as your LFG pops (as previously mentioned).
3) Getting back to playing from 9:00-midnight real quick. Her and my little guy are asleep at those times. So therefore there is little to no quality time I’m missing out on. When she sees me around, I’m not playing WoW. When she’s sleeping, I’m doing what I want to do.
4) She needs a hobby! SO many people will tell you to “find something you both enjoy doing and spend time together doing it!”. Those people can fuck RIGHT off. They can take that idea and stick it STRAIGHT in their asses. Listen, YOU play WoW. It’s what YOU do. SHE has to find something that SHE can do. Just because she doesn’t have a hobby, doesn’t mean you have to give up MORE of your time to pick one for the both of you. Once she finds that hobby, you’re WoW time will open up even more.
5) Don’t talk about WoW in front of her. It’s as easy as that. If she hates the game, the last thing she’s going to want to hear about is the fact that you finally got your Tier 11 legs last night. Be smart. That’s only going to piss her off more. The less she knows about your WoW involvement, the better off you’ll be. Less guilt trips, less fights, etc. I’m not telling you to hide anything, but if you want to avoid getting hit by a golf ball you’ll avoid walking out into the middle of the driving range now won’t you?
In conclusion, these are a few things that have worked out for me and allowed me to continue playing the game I love and not abuse or neglect my family. I’ve found that it keeps me from not paying attention to my little boy or my wife and my house doesn’t turn into a shambles because I’ve neglected it. We’ve all become a lot happier because of it. Does she still dislike WoW? Yeah, for the most part. Are we building resentment towards each other because of this game? Not any more……and thank God.
Twizz out.
Follow me on Twitter @TwizzleTank or e-mail me! TwizzleTank@gmail.com

What a great post! I’m lucky that both my husband and I play MMOs together. It certainly takes this sort of drama out of our relationship. We do however have kid aggro sometimes.
HA! I certainly know what you’re talking about in that aspect as well. Kids will never tell you that you can’t play a game or cause your relationship with them to suffer. They just need that little boost of attention to get them back on their way
This all sounds familiar. I also play wow mostly when my wife and daughter are sleeping or away. The chore list is key for me. I also get everything done before my wife even gets settled in….well most days I do, lol. I couldn’t agree with you more on the hobby situation. My wife and daughter love chick flics. Streaming netflix through my xbox on the big screen has gave them the perfect distraction for me to get extra wow time in. Anyway, loved this post man! Laterz!
Good post as usual Twizz. I get aggro constantly. I usually make sure I go to bed at the same time as her 3 nights a week, plus bust my hump around the house. That keeps me lower on Omen, but every once in a while RNG pops a couple of crits, and there I am topping the meters. I think she’s getting used to me raiding on Tues & Thurs, but it relly helps wehn she’s already asleep or close, about 30 minutes before raiding. If we had kids, it’d be impossible- hell it’s bad enough with just a dog.
HA! Well it’s good to know that you’re not alone right? I’m really excited at the feedback I’ve gotten from this post. It seems that lots of people are doing what they can to stay at the bottom of Omen LOL! Thanks for reading it and taking the time to leave a comment!
The easiest way of all is to get your partner hooked too. My hubby sat in his corner, chuckling to himself all evening when he first found WoW & a guild of comedians. It took about 2 months before I caved in & got the trial account ‘just to have a look’. That was 2 years ago, 39 alts at various levels, a gold blog & a house full of undone little jobs but we’re happy
That is SO awesome! When I first started playing I would spend a few hours at a time. Finally my wife said “Are you going to go play that game again?” (and it wasn’t in a happy tone!). I told her, “Come here and at least try this!”. She sat down, started a Pally and made it to level 4. She had the next day off and when I called her on my lunch break she said “I got that paladin up to level 10!” hahaha! She ended up getting all the way to 70, then wrath launched and she took her to 80 but quit shortly after. I completely agree, getting your partner hooked is awesome! Keeping them hooked….well that might be a different story
Check out Rep Grind Radio if you are into WoW podcasts! It’s on iTunes and Stitcher Radio! It’s where I talk about all things WoW related and my co-host is a gold making genius! Thanks for taking the time to respond Nev!
This is a classic topic and sound advice. Since I was the one who installed WOW on all the computers in the house my husband appreciates me not nagging about wow. BUT this is now an issue for my brother-in-law so I am forwarding him this very concise and helpful post!
Excellent! It’s one of those “tale as old as time” type things……Man installs WoW, woman tolerates WoW for a little while….Woman proceeds to do everything in her power to keep Man from playing……*sigh*. Almost like it’s straight out of a Disney movie. Thanks for reading and taking the time to respond!!!!!