So I try to play the role of the concerned male.  You know how it goes.  Every once in a while you feel that spark to try to help out and “go that extra mile”.  The only place that it could EVER be ruined would be…..you guessed it…..World of Warcraft.

“OK, Twizz, seriously, what the fuck are you even talking about?”  Allow me to explain….

Since my latest post on this blog, a LOT has happened.  I covered some of the bigger things briefly in my last post and I won’t get into it again.  But lets just say I’ve been really busy in the WoW community!  I’ve been part of a guild now for a while on Kul Tiras (Horde side) with the co-host of Rep Grind Radio Mr. R9sid9nt9vil.  We opened up recruiting to our listeners and we’ve gotten a really good response!  One person in particular was nice enough to bring over his druid and be a bear tank.  Well…..he came to the right place.  His gear needed some work and I explained how to do the tank dance and what the meaning of cooldowns truly means.

After beating a target dummy completely bloody, I decided to give him a taste of the old Headless Horseman’s blade.  I walked him through how to do it, what abilities to use and his threat was great and I did little to no healing on him.  THAT is when I came up with my next great idea…..

“Lets go do a regular random dungeon.  Nothing super challenging and you’ll overgear it so you won’t have to worry about dps pulling threat or anything….you can concentrate on your cooldowns and rotation as well as the actual feeling of tanking”.   Those were famous last words.

Now, one little thing before I get too far into this.  Lets say that you’re…..uuumm….an 83 mage.  You land in a dungeon with a fairly well geared tank and healer and both are level 85.  I’d think to myself “SWEEEEEET!  This is going to be an easy run!”  Apparently some people forget that luxury and are more concerned with getting through the dungeon in less than 7 minutes because anything after that is a waste of their precious, PRECIOUS, FUCKING PRECIOUS time.

So we land in our dungeon and it’s got a fairly tricky pull right off the bat.  I’m explaining to him that his best bet is to just run in there and grab everything you can.  Now, I’m explaining this in vent so it took…..MAYBE……7 seconds.  That’s when the 83 mage (as previously discussed) decides to open his mouth and say “go tank!  god!  fucking GO!”.  I told him to chill out and I was explaining in vent to a new tank how it works.

Well I found out something that EVERYONE knows and somehow in my 4 years of gameplay I happened to overlook!  According to this dickbag, tanking is easy!  Run in, grab threat on everything and that’s it.  There is NOTHING else to do but that.

Well, I explained to him that there’s a little bit more than that and all I got was 100% attitude.  I told him he could put up with a slightly slower pace or he could go sit back in que.  I should have booted him, but for some reason, I didn’t.

Anyways, he proceeded to tell me about how he used to have a bear tank back in wrath and he “just gave it up because it was too fucking easy and boring”.  He also called me an elitist several times and it finally got to the point where I just typed “For the love of God….just shut up.  Please.  Just go the fuck away or shut up”.  To no avail obviously.

But the reason I type this post is because I’m seeing a trend.  Low amount of tanks available…….heals are available but not overflowing…….and then you have the dps.  The people who love to run the show.  The people who always know the most efficient way of doing things, yet they don’t do them themselves.  The people who have an 85 Ret Pally, an 85 Enhancement Shaman, an 85 Rogue and an 85 frost DK, however, they know how to tank everything better than anyone.  “It’s easy….you just run in and grab threat”.  No, you ignorant fuck.  Threat is the least of your worries now.  Staying alive in these dungeons is key.  Also, being a tank and dealing with a dps that refuses to target the same thing that everyone else is.  How does a new tank deal with that?  THESE are the things I’m trying to teach and have him learn and all you’re doing is making life harder.  I’m trying to make another tank available in the que.  You know, maybe lower your wait time by 30 seconds or a minute.  And this is what you say?  This is how you treat him?  I don’t blame him if he never wants to tank again, and he did a REALLY good job for his first go at it.

So therein lies the problem.  And I know some of you are going to say “Dude, I know tanks that are just as bad if not worse….”  Well allow me to retort….

Here’s a SMALL list of shit we have to deal with on a DAILY basis:

1)  A dps that just ignores the fact that skull goes first, then X, then whatever is CC’d.  “Fuck that, I’ll target what I want”.

2)  LOW dps.  That’s right, people who just don’t know how to play their class.  The healer can only keep my alive for SO long guys before I’m out of cooldowns and he’s out of mana.  You don’t know your shit, we all die.  You’re the “DAMAGE DEALER”.

3)  DPS thinking that everything is a faceroll.   They acquire a little bit of gear and suddenly all mechanics can be ignored and they just do what they want.  It doesn’t work that way.

4)  DPS that think that it’s their job to pull a mob because the tank isn’t going fast enough (or fast enough for their liking).  What YOU (Mr. DPS) have probably failed to see is that maybe the tank is waiting on a cooldown (ie: enrage, death & decay, etc) and needs that in order to generate threat.  MAYBE the fucking healer is out of mana!  I KNOW FOR A FACT that you didn’t look at the healers mana before YOU decided to pull the mob.  That’s things we learn to do as a tank.

I could give you reasons 5-50 but we all have a semi-limited amount of time :)

So, I debated about doing this or not and decided to go with it.  Here’s the douchebag…….

http://us.battle.net/wow/en/character/dragonmaw/Bonezs/simple

So anyways, as you sit in que for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20+ minutes…….I apologize if you’re a good person.  Because a few people shit their pants…….you ALL have to wear diapers now.

Twizz out.

Check out Rep Grind Radio on iTunes and Stitcher!  I host it with R9sid9nt9vil and we have a blast!

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